jdls

Fear can be a crippling thing
It keeps us from doing the things we want
Being the people we were born to be
All because of some abstract concept
Fear impedes progress, growth and change

But on the other hand fear is a driving force
It forces us into action
To ensure what we fear does not occur
To cease fear itself

Fear is the root of a lot of things
Many might not agree with me but regardless
Fear is a crucial aspect of life
One that many wish they could live without

Fear is only what you make it
It's yours to control
To use to motivate or to hinder

For me,
I'll take my fear
And bottle it for a rainy day

So what is my rambling about fear cumulating to? I fear happiness. It sounds like a completely unsubstantiated fear but isn't having something and losing it far worse than simply never having it? To live with the knowledge that you were happy..?

I liked relationships because I like to feel needed. I like being there for those who are in need. Whether or not it was a temporary need, a general need, or whatever, I wanted to be the one to be there for them. It's part of my white-knight/saviour complex. But all of this led to relationships that could not be maintained. That was the past. The future holds many things for me, including healthy relationships with the possibility of lasting. But when I think about it, my fear holds me back. So I enter into a I give and take relationship and I'm perfectly happy with it but the thing is something is bound to go wrong. And yes I have been known to be a naysayer but the facts remain that I'm going to university after the summer and I have no idea where I'm going yet. So what's the point of entering into a relationship with wonderful possibilities at this point? Best case: it doesn't work out, worse case: it does and then it's killed. So you tell me, is there a point? But then thinking like that, is there a point to anything?